14 Weeks~Lemon

"Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys, and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth."

14 weeks pregnant and the baby is the size of a lemon! I can't believe it. Last time I went to the doctor my little one was the size of a prune. LOL! He or she is growing so fast. I can't wait to hear its little heartbeat again on Wednesday.

I'm not getting morning sickness anymore, thank God! I'm still pretty tired, but not as much as I used to be. I still have some food aversions that will make my stomach turn though. I can't be around onions, pickles, or popcorn. =S I'm barely showing at all. You can tell I have a little bump if I lift my shirt up, but you can't tell I'm pregnant at all with my clothes on.

I'm still anxious for my appointment, but I'm not as scared anymore. I posted a thread on babycenter.com and asked if anyone had to have a colposcopy while they were pregnant and what it was like. A lot of women responded. They said it's just like a normal pap, only they put this microscope with a light on it in front of your vag, and they just take a good look in there for about 10 to 15 minutes. They said it's not comfortable, but it's not painful. I'm hoping that everything is okay and they don't have to do the cryofreeze. All the ladies that had that done said that hurts for a couple of days.

*sigh* I'll update everyone on the results and how the appointment goes. In the mean time I'm staying positive. =)

We're closing on our house on Monday!

We are finally closing on our house! YAY!!! Finally! It seems like we have been going through this process forever. We close at 8:30 Monday morning. It's going to take about two hours to sign all of the papers so I may end up with carpal tunnel, but I will officially be a homeowner. =)

I can't wait! It's going to be so nice moving from a one bedroom apartment to a three bedroom, two bathroom, 1,900 square foot house. It's going to be so great for our family. Chili will have a big, fenced yard to run and play in, we'll be able to make a cute nursery for the baby right across the hall from the master bedroom, Robbie gets a garage to work on his car, and I get a bigger kitchen! LOL!

It probably seems like I'm rambling or bragging, but I really am just so happy that this is almost over and that we really are buying a home. I am so excited!!!

A Little Relieved

Okay, so I called my doctor this morning. I've been freaking out for the last 24 hours. I had to get some more information other than I have HPV cells. So I talked to a different nurse than I talked to yesterday and she really put me at ease.

She told me that what I have is really common among young, pregnant women, especially women in their early 20s. She said that HPV cells grow very slowly and I should be able to carry the baby full term and deliver without any problems. She assured me that if it were more serious they would have asked to see me immediately.

The nurse told me that they won't do a biopsy because when you're pregnant your cervix has more blood than normal and I could end up bleeding too much which is bad for me and the baby. She did tell me that the doctor is going to have to put a microscope in there to get a good look at the cells, find out how many there are, and how fast they are growing. It's a procedure called a colposcopy. She told me that I may want to take some Extra Strength Tylenol before I go in because it could be painful. I never would have guessed. LOL!

She said that the worst case scenario would be that I will have to have the cells frozen off which can be done while I'm pregnant and still keep me and the baby safe. They said that I will have to get a pap smear every six months rather than every year until I get two normal paps in a row and I may have to undergo some more invasive tests during my pregnancy, but I should be fine.

The nurse told me her daughter had the exact same thing happen to her when she was pregnant and when they did a pap six weeks after she delivered it was normal. So, all is well so far. The colposcopy and the other tests I'll have to endure won't be pleasant, but I feel tons better about the situation now.

Terrified

I am so scared. On top of all of the stress I'm dealing with on closing on our house I got a call from my OB/GYN's office and it was not a good call.

They told me that there is some yeast growing, but that can be fixed with an over the counter medication. "No problem", I said. That's not too big of a deal right? Then they told me that my pap smear came back abnormal.

I have never had an abnormal pap before and there couldn't be a worse time for it. They said that they found HPV cells which are the cells that cause cervical cancer. The nurse that called couldn't tell me anything more. She said that the doctor will talk to me about it in detail when I go to my appointment on March 4th.

I'm a worry wart anyway, but now I have a baby that I'm carrying. My sister-in-law had HPV cells once and they had to be surgically removed. I can't have surgery until after the baby is born. What if they tell me I have to terminate my pregnancy so that I can have the surgery to save my life?

I fear the worst, but I'm really hoping that the cells are benign and that I'll be able to carry the baby full term. I'm hoping that the doctor will tell me they just need to watch me more closely and consider my pregnancy high risk. I am so terrified. These next nine days until my next appointment are going to be the longest nine days of my life.

13 Weeks~Peach

"Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords... savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. (Much more convenient.)"

I Heart Debra!

Oh, my God! I am so grateful. My mom's ex-girlfriend, Debra, is so incredibly generous and wonderful. She is going to lend us the money we need for our down payment for our house and we are just going to pay her back in full when we get our tax returns. Since Obama signed that stimulus we are going to get an $8,000 tax credit for first time home buyers and we don't have to pay it back to the government.

Did I mention how grateful I am? I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. We are going to be able to buy our house after all. Everything is going to be okay. It is actually going to be better this way. Our interest rate is going to be 5.25% and our monthly payment is only going to be $1,019 including our homeowners insurance. It was going to be $1,125 before.

I was so worried, but Robbie knew we would get the money somehow and that everything would work out. I've been having panic attacks for the last two days, but Robbie has kept me calm and helped me through. I'm so glad that this is going to happen for us. We're going to have a beautiful baby this summer and we're going to be able to raise it in a beautiful house in a really safe neighborhood. I am so blessed.

Furious

So...I am fucking furious, but mostly scared. We got a call from our lender today. They told us that we make too much money to qualify for Utah Housing. Are you fucking kidding me!? Couldn't they have told us that, oh I don't know, when we applied for the loan? They could have, but they chose to tell us after we paid for the inspection and appraisal. Bastards.

Apparently the income limits vary from county to county. We were originally going to buy a house in Salt Lake County, but the one that we decided to buy is in Tooele County. We made the offer a month ago. That means that they have had the address in their file for a month. Why didn't they say something when we made the offer!?

Luckily our realtor is awesome and has made some calls. We talked to our loan officer after our realtor spoke with her. Apparently we only make $1,500 more a year than their income limit for Utah Housing between the two of us. That is such a small amount. Our loan officer is going to try to pull some strings to get the loan pushed through for us.

If the loan doesn't push through, we can still get the house, but we'll have to come up with $5,700 for a down payment by next week. Everything is up in the air right now and I am so stressed. Please send me and Robbie good vibes and wishes so that we can buy our dream house. Thanks to you all!

Tiny Baby Bump

Here are my tiny baby bump pics. The first one is my belly at 6 weeks. The second one is my current belly at 12 weeks. =)

12 Weeks~Plum

"As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed."

Second trimester...Wow! I can't believe I'm three months pregnant already. In some ways it has felt like forever getting to this point, but in other ways it seems like the time has just flown by. I found out seven weeks ago that I'm pregnant. Where does the time go?

I know you're all wondering and yes...I have a tiny baby bump. LOL! I'll post some pics soon so you can see. My next appointment is on March 4th. I don't think anything exciting will happen at this one. She'll probably ask me some questions and maybe run some more tests, but then again I don't know. We'll see what happens. =)

25 Things About Me

1. I have only truly been in love once in my life. I married that one. =)

2. I'm terrified and excited about being a mother.

3. I love, love, love salty foods! I have to be in the mood for sweets.

4. My dream job would be to have my own show on The Food Network.

5. I took ballet for seven years, modern dance for two years, and belly dance for one year. I still love to dance and want to learn more.

6. I don't care what anyone says, I absolutely love Valentine's Day! I think it's nice to have a day to do something special with your honey.

7. I am very much an introvert. I would rather stay home and curl up with a good book and a cup of hot tea than go out and party.

8. I love animals! If I could, I would rescue them all and bring them home with me.

9. I hate olives and pickles! Bleck!

10. I am never satisfied. I always want more than I have, but I'm working on being more grateful and appreciative of what I have been given in my life.

11. My favorite smell is the smell of fresh, home-made bread. Mmmmm...

12. I can't stand emo music. I think all of those guys need to quit threatening to cut their wrists and just do it so they can stop torturing us.

13. I consider myself spiritual, but not religious.

14. I love beer! I'm a little sad that I can't drink it, but it was surprisingly easy to give up.

15. I can't stand incompetent people. I have no patience for them. Pick up a damn book and learn something!

16. My favorite flowers are purple irises and white roses.

17. I think Neil Gaiman is a brilliant author.

18. I have an obsession with the red-headed piano Goddess, Tori Amos.

19. I used to think I was a lesbian, but I was just trying to get away from men. I didn't want to hurt anymore, but girls came with a whole new set of problems.

20. I love my friends, even though I never see them these days.

21. I love my family, even though they drive me bat shit most days.

22. I want to go to Greece and Italy someday.

23. I worry constantly over the dumbest things. I wish I could lighten up on occasion.

24. Audrey Hepburn is my favorite actress.

25. Even though everything in my life isn't quite the way I want it to be, I absolutely love every minute of it! =)

Lonely

So...I realized the other day that I'm pretty pathetic and really lonely. I haven't seen or hung out with any of my friends outside of work in months. Now don't get me wrong. I love Robbie very much and I love spending time with him, but I need some more interaction with people. I need some girl time especially.

We hang out with his friends quite a bit, but I never see my friends anymore. I talk to them online or via text and that's the extent of my relationship with them. It's pretty sad. No one even tells me if there is anything going on, or asks me if I might want to go out. I think they just assume that I'm content with being a hermit and staying in with my hubby all of the time.

I blame myself. When Robbie and I first started dating all I wanted to do was spend time with him. I just never really got back in the swing of things when it came to going out with friends again. We've been together for over two years. That's a long time to go without seeing your friends on a regular basis.

I might just be overly emotional because my hormones are going crazy right now, but this is how I feel. If any of my friends are reading this please understand I love you all and I do want to spend time with you guys. I'm not trying to withdraw from the world. Ask me to go out to lunch, or to a movie, or something. I'll most likely say yes.

Thanks for reading.

11 Weeks~Lime

"Your fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through. But, fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future."

LOL! That was the description on the website where I get all these awesome pictures. It's so crazy to think that my baby is the size of a lime now and that all of this development is happening so fast!

You still can't tell that I'm pregnant. I have no baby bump whatsoever, but I know that there's a little baby in there. I saw it when the doctor did my ultrasound. LOL! Maybe I'll be lucky like my mom was with me and not show till I'm in my third trimester. Doubtful, but I can dream right?

I'm getting more and more excited since I got to hear the heartbeat and see my little one. Especially since we will be in our house when the baby comes. We're doing our final walk through today to make sure everything is okay and that nothing needs to be fixed, then we should be able to close on the 25th!

Everything in my life is so wonderful right now. We bought a house, we have a baby on the way, Robbie is going into the police academy, and we have a solid plan to get rid of all of our debt with the exception of the house and the mustang by this time next year.

I have so much to be grateful for. I feel truly blessed.

My Husband

Since Ash tagged me, here is a survey on my hubby, Robbie. =)

Husband Tag

1. Where did you meet your husband?
We met on a blind date. We went to my friend, Beth's house first, then we went to Area 51. LOL!
2. How long did you date before you got married?
We dated for 1 year and 6 months before we got married.
3. How long have you been married?
We have been married for 8 months. =)
4. What does he do that surprises you?
Little things. For instance, I had to go back to work after my doctor appt last Wednesday, Robbie didn't. When I came home, he had cleaned the whole apartment for me. He's so sweet.
5. What is your favorite feature of his?
His gorgeous, green eyes. I hope our baby gets his eyes.
6. What is his best quality?
He is a very giving person. He would do anything for me, his family, and anyone that he cares about.
7. Does he have a nickname for you?
Honey Bear
8. What is his favorite food?
His mom's lasagna.
9. What is his favorite sport?
I would have to say either football or basketball. It's hard to say which one he likes more.
10. When and where did you first kiss?
At Beth's house after our first date. LOL!
11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple?
Just cuddling on the couch with some good food and a movie. We're big fans of romantic nights staying in.
12. Do you have any children?
We have one on the way! I'm due August 29, 2009! Our dog, Chili Pepper, is as much of a handful as a human child though. LOL!
13. Does he have any hidden talents?
Hidden talents? Hmmm...I don't think so. He can fix almost anything, but I think everyone knows that about him. LOL!
14. How old is he?
21
15. Who said 'I love you' first?
I did. I was so nervous, but it turned out that he loves me too, so it all worked out. =)
16. What is his favorite music?
He loves all kinds of music from country to classic rock to metal to musicals. Just about anything.
17. What do you admire most about him?
He works so hard to support us and to make sure we have a good life. Now he is going to live his dream and go into the police academy. I am so proud of him.
18. What is his favorite color?
Green and Blue.
19. Will he read this?
I doubt it.
20. Who do you tag?
Lindee

I heard my baby's heartbeat!

I went to my doctor's appt today and I got to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time! It is the most amazing sound in the world! The heart was beating so fast! 180 bpm to be exact. =)

I got to see the babe on the ultrasound. I know that I've been carrying this little thing inside me for over 10 weeks now, but it is so wonderful to actually see what you're creating. The baby lay still for a minute, then my OB decided to press down on my stomach to see if we could see some movement. My baby stretched and turned its back to us. LOL! I guess it just wanted to sleep.

Oh, and I am actually two days further along than I thought I was. LOL! I'm 10 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I am due on August 29, 2009! It is going to be a long, hot summer, but it's okay. It will be so worth it when he or she is here. =)

10 Weeks~Prune

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and my baby is the size of a prune. Baby's vital organs are starting to grow and the hands are resting over the heart.

I was incredibly sick today. More so than at any other time during my pregnancy. I actually had to leave work halfway through the day because I couldn't keep anything down. I just keep rubbing my belly and reminding myself that I love my baby and that this will all be worth it once I'm able to hold my little one in my arms.

I get to hear my babe's heartbeat in two days. I can't wait. I'll update you all on how the appt goes. I'm still a little nervous about miscarriage. I probably will be until I reach the second trimester, but I'm trying to stay optimistic. Send me good vibes and happiness.