So... I haven't blogged in over a month and I thought it was about time. I just don't have much to write about these days. My life is pretty mundane and normal, unfortunately. There is nothing thrilling or exciting to post really, unless I get pregnant again, then I'll probably start posting weekly again.
I decided that I love and hate my life at the moment. I realize that I'm blessed and very lucky to be able to stay home, raise my son, and still bring money into my household. Most new moms only dream of what I'm doing right now and I'm incredibly grateful, but I am slowly starting to lose my mind.
I need some form of human interaction with someone over the age of 8, other than Robbie of course. I'm seriously considering being one of those crazy people that call into radio stations and just talk to the DJs forever so that I can have that connection with the outside world.
I've lost a lot of my friends since I started doing daycare. I want to scream at them and tell them I'm sorry if I can't spend every waking moment with you! I kind of have a husband, a son, and a business to run. I watch kids for 55+ hours a week for Christ's sake. Those hours don't include all of the record keeping, cleaning, and lesson plan preparations either.
I just wish that the people in my life would try to understand. It's not that I don't want to spend time with my friends, or I guess ex friends now. I literally have no time! Although, apparently I need to make time. I am seriously going stir crazy spending most of my time at home. I go out with my family, but I need a break from them once in awhile too. I don't know how to make this work, but somehow it's gotta happen.
I do not want to hear anyone bitching at me about being grateful for what I have. I am very aware of how fortunate and privileged I am to be able to live the life that I live. I'm just posting my feelings at this moment in time and I don't need anybody stomping all over them just because they happen to be more on the negative side today. Thank you, that is all.
2 comments:
Can I just say I remember those feelings, and it is hard. I love you and if you are ever up for a drive we would love to see you.
Thanks, aunt Lydia. I miss you guys too. I think that being far from family is another thing that makes this situation harder. I do need to make a trip to Ogden soon. I know I would much rather be a stay at home mom than a work outside of the home mom. I tried that after Tristan was born and I was miserable. I can't be away from my baby for that long. I think I just need to find more time to get out. Even if it's just a couple of hours a week. Love you!
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